V is for Virgin: Being sexless in your early 20s

It usually becomes very silent and awkward whenever I mention it. I don’t really try to hide it, brag about it or defend it. But sometimes sex comes up in a conversation that suddenly spotlights this side of your private life. People would like an explanation as to why you’ve chosen this: are you religious? Are you waiting until you’re married? Are you asexual or lesbian? What’s wrong with you? No, no, no, no and nothing.

Then there’s more silence and weird looks that swiftly summarise the feeling of being a virgin in your early 20s.

There’s nothing wrong with waiting at all, but at the same time it’s often viewed as a weird, problematic thing. After all, it’s not only an experience for life, but a social barrier that needs to be broken down. Therefore I would say that the main problem here, as with many sexual topics, is the stigmatisation. People view virgins as misfits in the society where it’s simply too weird to have no sex life. Choosing to stay a virgin, consciously or not, doesn’t mean one’s ignorant or awkward when it comes to conversations about sex.

On the contrary, it can be really interesting listening to it. If you take extra notice, you’ll hear people around you talk about sex quite often, either their own experiences (like what they did at yesterday’s party or with their boyfriend) or a rumour they’ve heard about what so-and-so did at yesterday’s party. Sex is basically plastered everywhere, through advertisements, movies and computer games, so it’s fine talking about it even though you cannot share own experiences.

Because most of us are not completely clueless: the majority of us attended the sex education lesions the nurse gave us in school, we’ve seen Big Brother, Game of Thrones, pictures, drawings, books, logos, you name it. We know the stuff well enough and in my case, I’m just not ready experiencing them for myself. Although this is a magazine about sex, where you’ll see a lot of nakedness and read some pretty explicit stuff on different sexual lifestyles and health, it’s also important to be comfortable with this. To have open discussions on sex is important because this topic is so much more than naked bodies: selfawareness, confidence, identity and respect towards others sexual lifestyles are important aspects. After all, the articles we’ve written about in Blatant are not aimed at sex-addicted people, but for those who are interested in sex beyond porn publications.

Being a virgin shouldn’t be seen as an obstacle to more social interactions.. I say, let’s talk even more about this and celebrate it more in society. There shouldn’t be a pressure on young women (or men!) to have sex before they’re ready, just because other people expect them too. And while my knowledge on sexual topics might seem like just scraping the surface to sexual understanding, some of us are “what we’re missing” and are okay with that. And hey, no sexually transmitted diseases for us!

#Virginity #religion #gay #asexuality #lesbian